Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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