More tranny stories later!
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
