It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
