I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
