You're a womanizer and a bitch.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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