And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
