if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
