oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
