I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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