all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
