Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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