Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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