So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
