omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
