We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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