i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
