Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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