Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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