One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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