We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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