Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
