Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
