Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
