so that wasnt chicken after all
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize