ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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