one might say we're banned from that church
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
