Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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