You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
