i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
