we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
