Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
