She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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