You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
