I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You brought string cheese to the strip club
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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