I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
