this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
