Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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