If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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