So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize