im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
