we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
my poor anus
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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