I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
