First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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