i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
