Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
