Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
