I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i out mim tonsoeep
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