i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
