She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
