I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
