Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
