Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
All the doctor said was why
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
