There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
