Sponge bath it is.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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