she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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