It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
