In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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