Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
