i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
