honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
not ubering you a puppy
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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