4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
