Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I think I sprained my soul last night
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
