My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
