i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
