We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
