So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
