evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
